By now, we have all heard of the “manifestation” idea. A practice where if you just wish for something long and hard enough, the universe will (eventually) give it to you. Now be that as it may, I doubt we would have a world in crisis… I’m currently recapping the last decade of my life. A decade filled with sadness, pain and a few things that brightened what was this black hole I seemed to be fused with till the end of days.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t tortured for years. I was no victim of physical abuse (apart from my own infliction in from of an eating disorder). I had a comfortable home, food and for that I’ll always be grateful. The darkness that had decided to become my companion was more mentally as it was physically. I lived a life filled with hopes and dreams I knew to never come true, at least not for me.
Growing up, I wanted to be a ballerina. Ballerina one day turned music theatre and that, one day turned theatre makeup artist… neither became a reality – neither could have.
As I entered my late teens, I started loving the idea to write. I started writing short stories on my computer late at night… I didn’t just write, I escaped into them. The short stories I wrote later on also to fled what was my reality. I can tell you, how many short stories I have written between the ages of 17 to 23… it must have been thousands. I never thought of them ever being published, they would have likely failed miserably so it is a good thing, I no longer have them.
Wishes and their harsh reality
They are as beautiful as they can be cruel, I have learned that the hard way. I dreamed of things that came true and turned out being a nightmare. Back then, I used to wonder, why I get granted certain wishes when they only brought me tears and why others will never come true… I started to think, that wishes aren’t exactly meant to make you happy. Most times, I learned that the pedestal we put them on makes them look so perfect that disaster would never come to mind when thinking about them. I don’t know if my “manifestation” made things happened, something in me doubts it but if it were true. It seems I would only manifest and get what will ultimately end up hurting me.
So, I stopped dreaming, almost completely at a certain point. Fearing the outcome of fulfilled wishes and dreams had on me, I was sure it was the best choice to no longer wish/dream for anything. That sure worked a charm… spiralled me right into another spout of depression. I had no idea that wishes would make me happy by just “dreaming” about them… but I digress.
Yes, I love dreams, wishes and hopes – it’s what keeps me alive. I know I will never every have the house I have been dreaming of all my life (nope, not dreaming of a Park Avenue Mansion – but there is a very special house in my hometown that I have been drooling over since I can remember). My life will never look the way I always wished for it to look like BUT I am changing things one bit at a time at the present.
I will never be a ballerina, never be on stage performing in musical theatre – those times, chances have past and I know that. Yes, it makes me sad that the things I wished for most growing up will never come true.
Never stop dreaming or wishing for things no matter how big or small
If you felt like my post is a bit of a Debby-Downer, fear not! I don’t ever want people to stop dreaming and wishing for things in their lives. It’s honestly the best thing. But I would strongly suggest keeping the reality of things also in check.
Let me give you one positive example of a wish I had for over a decade now, because you are right in it. It’s this Blog.
I wanted to write for ages. Before there was a Zoella (I loved her Blog) around, I first started writing my own little “Blog” on MySpace (yes, I am that old) and I loved it. It’s is gone forever now and all I have is its memory, but I loved it. It is now, years later that I made a long-standing wish come true myself and created this Blog for myself if nothing else. Yes, it is costing me a lot of money in terms of webhosting this space. I don’t make a cent off it but maybe, just maybe one day, I will earn a Euro or two from what I put in in terms of love and dedication. If not, I have at least followed a dream and made this wish come true myself.
My advice for you is simple – DREAM and WISH from things to come true but also work towards it yourself, that way you are sure to have the biggest success rate possible. Don’t wait for things to happen – you will lose too much time with waiting.
In that sense, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it 😉
