Master Manipulators and the things we did…

Welcome to the world of Master Manipulators. I have been there, that place of thinking “that’s the right thing to do”. The bending to someone else’s wishes in the true believe, this is love and that person, in turn, loves you. Back in the day, I was, just as blind and unfathomly brainwashed by what I now identify as “master manipulators”. Words that sound like “I’d love you to wear this”, “I love you more with long hair”, “If you do this you are my dream woman”… from little things like haircuts to changing up the way one dresses and really tricky things like weight.

“I hope she’ll be a fool — that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Unfortunately, I came to learn that these “master manipulators” are, in general, men who pick women decades younger than themselves. The reason is simple, the less experience a young girl has the easier she is to be twisted into what he wants her to be. It sound perfidious and one would be willing to say “oh no, these men don’t do this on purpose”… well, psychology would suggest otherwise and that rather strongly.

The real problem is, that these women certainly one day leave that master manipulator once the haze clears (but it can take years, painful ones on looking back – trust me) but the damage is even grater. The fear to lose your sense of selves to be declared as someone else’s “perfect match” is in a world where not having a mate is pretty badly looked down upon. So you head into relationships without having had professional help to deal with what has happened and you potentially ruin your chances that the next guy is actually a good egg. That fear of returning into that life again will cripple anyone else’s chances with you.

Mirror, Mirror…

Allow me to try and explain somewhat as to why Master Manipulators have become what they are. I can assure you, they have not always been that way. Yes, I speak from experience.

Most often, they have had a significant experience with a partner that ended badly for them. Badly in the sense that they themselves felt screwed and mistreated by someone they loved. As a result to protect themselves, they exclude hence forth what could allow that to be repeated. In psychology this would be seen as a safety mechanisms and it very well is but unfortunately, a dangerous one at that. If you form others to be what you want them to be, you have to expect that one day, that bubble burst and that ends ugly and while the victim suffers much longer the Master Manipulator will have already gone after the next woman.

Experience is Key

The younger a woman, the easy she falls pray. Especially if the age gape is big. And the age gap is always big with Master Manipulators. All women under the age of 30 are fair game. Anything from 18-25 is what is desired most, because their “range of experience” is already limited so the “grooming” is a whole lot easier. I have fallen pray, I know many who have fallen pray and I can see the patterns clearly now.

The False Sense of Confidence

As victim you get that false sense of confidence that you are “THE ONE” that is different. “THE ONE” that he loves and does everything for. It’s such a dangerous place because once you realise, that you have been victim you then also realise, what has been done to you. That so called EGO Death is earth shattering and soul crushing. And whilst the Master Manipulator moves on declaring you are the evil one in all this, you get crushed further and further with the sense that everything was a lie. Truth is, it was a lie but only for you. The Master Manipulator lived out what he wanted to live out and you have been the, all to willing, vessel to do so.

Give it TIME

So the only thing left for you is not to promise revenge, like you just rushed out of a mideavel novel but to build yourself back up. You can not expect to bounce back from that. So do not try to. You need time to heal. Time to understand and only then you will have a better sense for the next person who will enter your life. You will see what is good and what is bad or as social media calls it “red and green flags” – truth is, we all have both. I know not one person who is a wholesome green flag and never ever had a red flag. The important thing is to spot the truly bad red flags, the manipulation the underlying attempts to change you.

And with that, dear reader, I bit farewell again. Hope you return back soon as will I.