I so rarely wear crowns these days but this one fits like none other. It’s a sad truth about me but if there is one thing I’m truly gifted in – it’s Self doubt. That’s why I call myself the Queen of self doubt.
On looking back, even as a kid, I was full of it. Everything I did – I was convinced I did wrong. Doing things as a grown up, not much has changed. I cook something and think “someone else would have made it perfect”. I rarely think I am good at something… come to think of it, I doubt I ever have. I could, at any given moment – put myself in self-doubt-hell.
Social Media
I honestly believe, that one of the biggest reasons of self-doubt is found in/on Social Media these days. You are constantly confronted with the most perfectly curated feeds. The most gorgeous and accomplished of people with hundreds of thousands of followers. Even the smaller accounts that just start building their brand must show nothing but perfection to even get recognized in this billion people heavy industry.
There are a great many accounts I have been following for years – I can even say, I was a follower before they were famous. I knew where they started, and you can look that up too. Scroll down their Feed and you will find the same posts and pictures featuring 30 hashtags and trying to grow their audience as everyone else. There is the sad truth, that back when the big ones started – the stakes weren’t as high and the curated feeds not as demanding. Times have changed, Social Media is a platform to earn money these days.
I can only talk for myself, but the stakes make you feel like an instant failure…
We all know, why back when – everyone started the same. A cheap camera, or even just mirror selfies. Pictures that were mostly badly lit because no one knew how to light back then. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy anymore. I just started curating my feed and I’m already looking up professional lights just to keep up once I put my first “flat lays” or product pictures out.
There is a constant fear in myself, that I simply can’t compete, and my self-doubt just keeps growing.
Self Doubt
Out of curiosity and sheer interest, I have researched Self-Doubt for years. There are just as many variables and reasons as the sky has stars. Everyone has his or her own reasons and mine probably look totally different than yours might. I’m not here to tell you that your own self-doubting mind is doing great in the self-doubting department, you know that already. I’m here to tell you, that I’m almost certain that there isn’t a person on the planet who never felt even hint of self-doubt him/herself. It’s common in the most successful of people as it is in the everyday Joe.
How to be your own Cheerleader
Over the span of the last 2-3 years, I have tried to improve my self-doubting mind. I learned to cheer for myself – which isn’t always easy for me. I somehow am everyone else’s Cheerleader but only on the rarest of occasions someone has returned the favour. I’m not mad about people for not cheering for me, everyone should do what feel right to them. I do however strongly believe, that cheering for people here and there who could do with a bit of a boost in that department, has never hurt anybody. It can be as easy as a comforting word of encouragement that does the tick. I often tell people “If you never try, how can you be sure. I’m certain you can do it!”
The Journey to a positive Mindset
I have set this goal for myself if for no one else. I want to believe in myself a little bit more. Growing is hard, as a person or on Social Media. Stakes are different, times are different. We can all agree that having positive thoughts is healthier as having negative ones. However, the negative ones seem to come easier as do the positive.
The reason why I put myself on IG as a content creator is easy, I like creating content. I honestly don’t know if I’m any good at it, but I love doing it. Giving myself the opportunity to grow and learn more is something I look forward to. If at the end of the day, it turns out that I’m not good, I know I have tried it at least. Back in the day I was incredibly closeted about my personality and my struggles, I have started to embrace my issues now and write about them. My IG feed captions are full of the things that both make me happy and the things that caused me torment.
Self-Doubt is with me all the way, whether it’s here on my Blog or on my IG feed. I try my best, so it doesn’t eat me up and I try to cheer for myself and it works. I’m not one for “dreaming big” but I am someone who dreams. I know what can and can not be possible and that has a huge impact on my self-doubting mind.
Let me be your cheerleader!!
If you, like me suffer from a self-doubting mind then know this. I’m here to cheer you on no matter your way. In case you don’t want to share it publicly, write me a message via my contact form. I’m happy to lend a ear and should and take my pompons and cheer you own.
