You‘re on your own Kid

Before everyone screams at me for using a Swift Lyric as the title, bear with me for it is a phrase commonly used. Lady Swift ain‘t no stranger to using famous phrases so…

I reckon, SEO will hate me for this Blogpost because it already feels like a Negative-Nelly kinda Blogpost. But I‘m writing this, pretty late at night, and feeling a deep sense of having to share this.

Being in one’s mid 30s comes with a set of preconceived ideas of how your life is supposed to look like by that time. Settled with Kids is just one of them, in more recent years it‘s even Career and Family that is demanded by the public. What an oppressing thought to know, that others do not see you as a whole person if you haven‘t “ticked” all these ominous and clearly highly important boxes you were supposed to.

Show me a Hero and I‘ll write you a Tragedy

I truly believe we all are the Heroes of our own story but somehow, our stories have, thanks to outside pressure, turned full on tragedy. We either work our arses off to build a career, and potentially do not make it in time to find a partner and build a family. OR we build a family and the career was “that thing” that got sacrificed along the way. The more I look around, the more disillusioned women I see – and it’s truly the rarest of individuals that ticked all those ominous boxes without 8 billion helping hands. Because one thing is for sure: ya ain’t ticking boxes if ya do not have help.

The Psychology of it all

Do not get me wrong, whatever you want from life, I hope you get it. But is the pressure of having to tick the boxes truly worth it? It’s a never ending marathon and what does that leave you with? The flip side of the coin is, that if you are not ticking the boxes, as is asked of you, you will become the black sheep. But listen to me. I do not have a family, I never wanted to be a wife and mother and not because I was career driven, I just never wanted that for myself. Early on I was looked upon, or let’s say down on, by literally everyone, and one day, it all flipped – women of all ages came to me and said, that if given another chance, they never again get married and have kids.

Maybe, just maybe that fixed image people have in their heads about women needs to go? It’s 2024 and if people can decide to be hence forth identified as a horse, women can free-form how THEY want their lives to look like. Want to get a family? Great, go do that. Want to have a Career? OK, cool. Want to be just bloody living your life the way you want? Damn right you should. Why is there a pressing need for pressure in order to be seen as normal? I feel normal, I have yet to see a second head sprout from my neck to confirm order wise.

A Woman can be a dangerous creature to behold

I truly believe, women are the mightiest sex on this planet, or any other planet visited by Kirk or Spock. So why are other people limiting us with their notions of what is right and what is wrong?

Even in a world that is driven by Social Media, and all their Pinterest Quotes of “you do you” we still have these rule books for people’s lives and we will make sure to make them know, when we think, they have not ticked the boxes as they should. It almost griefs me to say, but if you, dear reader, find yourself in a spot where ticking boxes is demanded of you, think long and hard and then do what your gut tells you to. No matter the parents, friends or even society in general – what matters is YOU. Your happiness is the most important thing. So do not give a flying f*** what others say, do, or believe in.

The cold, hard truth is, that each of us has to fight this battle alone. Because each of us has a different desire as to how their life is supposed to look like and that is OK. You have to march this path on your own, carve it for yourself and you know what? You’ve got this. Whatever it is YOU want your life to look like, YOU can build it, and the only one who needs to be happy is YOU. So start on that journey and not the journey to become a box ticker-offer.